Lisbon & Colos, Portugal

All the big decisions in my adult life have been made fairly quickly.  Where to live, where to work, where to study, where to eat out for breakfast, lunch and dinner…… so it’s not surprising that once I heard about Tamera (a Peace Research & Education Center in Southern Portugal), I knew I needed to come here.  It wasn’t a question; it was an inevitability.  But why?  And for what?  That’s what I needed to figure out.

Before arriving at Tamera’s Healing Biotope, I arranged a three-day egg tart bender in Portugal’s capital city.  I explored Lisbon’s Alfama & Bairro Alto districts…… the hip, artsy scene at LX Factory…… the Time Out Market’s foodie playground…… and ANYwhere I could enjoy more egg tarts.  The park.  The river.  The train.  The sidewalk.  They go so well with every outfit; it’d be a shame not to accessorize.  (And a double shame to miss the crispety-crunchety, flaked-to-perfection tarts over at Pastéis de Belém – their ancient monk recipe passed down since 1837.)

don’t bother with anything less than a 6-pack  #trust

As I ate my way through two pant sizes and politely asked one waiter to cut my meat (how on EARTH was I supposed to know how to cut into a tiger prawn!?), I had plenty of time in Lisbon to assess why, for the first time all year, I was nervous to travel somewhere.

Even though I was certain I wanted to visit Tamera……… part of me worried that the potential for change would be too great.  Was I really willing to look at my life through a different lens and reevaluate my patterns, habits and lifestyle?  Was I really ready to step into a community that would shine a light on my fears, insecurities, and destructive inner dialogue?  Was I emotionally equipped to survive five weeks without meat or cheese?

the anticipation is killing me

Tamera is a social experiment dedicated to global system change: transforming the world by transforming the innermost core of humanity.  By learning how all living things can coexist peacefully and by replacing fear with love, trust and cooperation, Tamera hopes to create a model for a new way of life.  A new vision of a HEALED EARTH where healing ourselves is the first step to healing the world.

Established in Germany in ’78 with nothing but an idea to create a better world, Tamera moved to Portugal in ’95 and now enjoys around 170 full and part-time community members.  After the early radical years where they ‘played Chopin with a hammer’, now they’re focusing their energies on a series of educational programs designed to help visitors & volunteers:

1. Leave behind fear and shame-based societal conditioning
2. Reignite the power and consciousness of love, and
3. Facilitate a relearning of what we once knew: that all life is sacred, that we are loving beings and that we are all connected & part of the whole.

Essentially knee-deep in their own 40-year research project, the Tamera community doesn’t claim to have all the answers or an exact blueprint of how life should be lived.  They simply want to share what they’ve learned so far (in an ever-evolving daily dance of mutual support and active participation) and invite others to experience the profound field of trust and love that they’ve created.

In the same vein, the best I can do for YOU is to relay: what I’ve learned from living in this community for the past five weeks, why this place and these people mean so much to me, and how I’ve changed as a result.  Fair warning that this post will be quite personal, as I don’t think I can adequately explain how Tamera has affected me without first exposing myself.  Raw and uncut.  Just like the food on campus.  (Just kidding – the chickpea focaccia and stuffed zucchini are to die for…)

This first post (out of two) will take you through the main tenets of the Tamera Education Program, revealing personal breakthroughs I’ve had along the way.  I think it’s fitting if we start with TRUST because I’m trusting you with my truth and transparency.  Please keep an open mind…… read with your heart…… and away we go.

TRUST

One could argue that the world, today, is more screwed up than ever before.  Turn on the news and all you see is fear.  Fear of the unknown, fear of your neighbor, fear of loss, fear of rejection, fear of being misunderstood.  We’re taught from an early age that different is scary.  That people will hurt you.  That we should suppress our natural desires, take without giving back, and build walls around our hearts to protect us from pain, embarrassment and judgment.

Life itself has turned into one, big competition where we’re all fighting and clawing to outperform each other with one, specific set of rules and one, clearly-defined image of success.  I’d like to step out of the competition and exit the ride, please.  I don’t want to hide anymore.  I don’t want to be led by fear.  I don’t want to keep others at a distance and I REFUSE to believe that the current culture of violence and suppression and scarcity is the best we can do.

The current system isn’t working because the current system lacks trust.

Tamera has taught me to infuse trust in all my interactions.  To verbalize what I want with clear communication, to allow myself to be truly seen (and therefore more visible to myself), and to remember that, in the end, we are all one.

Stepping out of the victim position and clearly expressing what I want and feel and need is hard for me.  I either expect people to know what I need from them (and set myself up for disappointment when they don’t come through) or I play off my needs as unimportant, careful not to inconvenience anyone (and set myself up for disappointment after successfully sabotaging my own desires).

The silver lining: I’ve already seen a huge improvement over the past five weeks by stating my impulses and expectations upfront, talking through feelings of shame & rejection as they bubble up in certain situations, and trying to live by the Tamera motto: ‘say what you do and do what you say’.

INNER HEALING

Alright, listen.  I’ve always considered myself a well-adjusted, look-on-the-bright-side, happy-go-lucky gal so IMAGINE MY SURPRISE upon realizing that I have a MOTHER LOAD of emotional shit to work through.  Like, a lot.  Like, where is this coming from and who turned on the faucet?

If you’ve followed my journey thus far, you know that I’m the female equivalent of Jude Law in The Holiday: a may-ja wee-pa.  A good book, a beautiful sunset, I. cry all. the. time.  Every step of the way, just bawling my eyes out at how overwhelming everything is……… can you even IMAGINE me at this place!?  Working through themes of self-love, self-worth, relationship, and body issues in a loving community framework!?  I’m a mess.  A hot freakin’ mess.

Slowly but surely, I’m reversing my one-track mind telling me I’m not good enough, smart enough, cute enough, or thin enough to receive the love that I want.  I’m regaining my lost power and connecting to myself so deeply that my soul has started to sing.

Tamera has given me the most wonderful gift; it has given me back myself.

Even though it’s embarrassing to admit, I now realize that this gap year is less about stamps on a passport and more about learning how to love myself.  (Cringe.)  Healing myself through self-love and self-acceptance so that I can spread more love to others……… ‘cuz it’s the success or failure of the inner human processes that determine the success or failure of the peace work.

OUTER HEALING: THE INTERCONNECTEDNESS OF ALL THINGS

A lush ecosystem actively restored from a dust bowl (via water retention techniques), Tamera’s home in Portugal is a shining example of a regenerative way of life.  Water re-infiltrated back into soil (increasing the earth’s natural capacity to store water), sunlight harnessed to bake apricot crumble cakes (reducing the need for fossil fuels), and a new relationship cultivated with nature & its bounty (from leftovers to biogas, exploitation to a sacred alliance).

Experiments with wild animals have been conducted, over the years, to learn more about the cooperation between all beings.  Community members have interacted with dolphins through song, communicated with juvenile whales through swim patterns, cohabitated the same living space with wild boars, and they’ve done extensive work with rats.

Each time a rat (or any animal for that matter) enters a Tamera living space, certain Tamerians try to tune into the right energy frequency, open up, and surrender into the healing force of the universe to ask what MESSAGE these pests wisdom carriers are providing with their presence.  Usually there’s a very specific reason they’re there – perhaps they sense a lack of joy in the garden group…… or a transition period in the kitchen staff…… or maybe they just want a round of applause for, once again, shitting in the buckwheat bread.

henry, did you shit in the buckwheat again?  i SEE you, henry.

Speaking of applause, Tamera deserves some snaps (or spirit fingers) for creating such a SAFE SPACE where people feel comfortable cracking themselves open and diving into the deep end of their emotions while others simply ‘hold the space’ (i.e. stay present in their bodies, listen with their heart, and withhold any reaction or head nod or mmm hmm until the share is complete).

It’s a revolutionary concept to give someone your undivided attention (without feedback or unsolicited advice) for HOWEVER LONG THEY NEED IT.  No one talking over each other or drifting away or waiting to talk but, instead, allowing the sharer to tap in, sink in and breathe through whatever they’re struggling with.  To hear them and to SEE them, because when you see something that is truly genuine and truthful, you can’t help but love it.

COMMUNITY

This year I’ve become fascinated with alternate ways of living.  People who have almost nothing but feel completely fulfilled.  People who never get married but are still sexually satisfied.  People who have three or five or seven partners and take care of each other’s children in a globally-minded family village.  People who withdraw from conventional society in order to realize their true autonomous potential without unnecessary rules and restrictions.

I love my life and have no regrets, but I feel like the traditional, Western recipe for a successful and fulfilling life doesn’t quite work for me.  Especially now in my early thirties when lit’trally ALL OF MY FRIENDS are popping out babies left and right.  One by one, the doors close, the phone stops ringing, and nuclear family units become the priority.  That sense of being EMBEDDED and PROTECTED in a community (like what I had growing up, in college and on my women’s football team) fades away and I’m left with the pressure to either start my own nuclear family or surrender to the epidemic of loneliness, waiting in the wings to wash over me.

I don’t know about you but I’m not ready for option A, and option B sounds pretty shitty.  Which is whyyyyy this year of researching what life looks like in different sections of the globe is the best thing to happen to me since I discovered rake dancing.  I now know that I need to be part of a supportive community surrounded by open and loving people; I need to feel like I’m part of something bigger; and I need to be cocooned in love from multiple angles.  These needs are non-negotiable.

Living in a community is like a six-sigma continuous improvement program for life.  You’re encouraged to be brutally honest with yourself.  To confront inner structures that might not serve you anymore and come face-to-face with all your baggage and blind spots.  To find your truth, speak your truth, and live your truth.  Because when you work on yourself, the whole community benefits.

(PLUS…… there’s always the added bonus that more people are around to smell test the shampoo & conditioner you bought in Italy that smells EXACTLY LIKE PICKLES.  The picture on the bottle was clearly meant to look like a refreshing lime but then, WHAM.  Pickles.)

is smelling like pickles sexy?  i don’t know either but here we are.

NEW ECONOMY

What is actually ‘of value’ in this world and what’s at the core of human life?  What really matters?  Is it food?  Is it water?  Is it love or trust or money?

We’re hardwired to believe so deeply in money but ‘only when the last tree has fallen, the last fish eaten, and the last stream poisoned…… will man understand that he can’t eat money.’ — Cree Indian prophecy

One of Tamera’s goals is shifting the world’s focal point away from money and back into creating RESONANCE (or fields of trust) between all living things.  Back to basics.  Back to the healed picture of the whole where ‘work’ can be viewed as service to the community and to the world.

There’s no need to count work hours or compare work outputs when work is framed as LOVE IN ACTION.

Find out where you stand on the need for a ‘new economy’ with a quick, take-home exercise.  Please answer the following questions honestly:

1. How do you make a connection between money and self-esteem?
2. How do you make a connection between money, love and sexuality?
3. Do you have the motivation or inspiration to organize your life in a communal economy?
4. If this idea (#3) totally freaks you out, do you know why?

CHILDREN: THE NEXT GENERATION

Tamera sees each child as a new hope for humanity.  A seed that, if watered and nurtured properly, can grow into the change we all wish for the world.

The kids that grow up in Tamera are encouraged to express themselves without fear.  To move their bodies, to state their natural impulses, to nurture their curiosities, to ask their questions, to be themselves without fear.  It’s a beautiful thing.

Society didn’t condition them that fear should govern their thoughts, reactions, and decisions.

To see kids and teenagers with so much self-confidence and an unshakable belief that they’re important, they’re needed, they’re good enough and they’re part of something bigger is downright encouraging.  I’m over here trying to figure out whether society created this prison for my natural impulse to love or if I did that all on my own…… while Tamerian teenagers are busy asking their community to throw parties on the night they lose their virginity.

(Disclaimer: that only happened once and it’s actually beautiful if you think about it.  To be so open about sexuality and not to treat it like some dirty secret or shameful act.  AND to choose exactly how you want your community to support you in different situations/milestones. #snapsforsex)

But back to the children and their schooling.  No letter grades.  No standardized tests.  No sitting in chairs for hours on end.  The open learning environment at Tamera is modeled after Montessori and Waldorf schools of thought where children are free to create their own curriculum (based on what interests & inspires them) and learn at their own pace.  No celebration of one, specific type of intelligence.  No culture of pressure and stress.  And no need to take out a second mortgage to pay for childcare – that’s what the community’s for, silly!

POLITICAL REVOLUTION

OK, so, you’ve completed all this transformational inner spiritual work……… what now?

I’ll tell you what now.  You convert it into actionable, global change.

You reach a point where you no longer react with hatred or fear and you manifest a new consciousness: the OUTER expression of your INNER peace.  You live in a way that’s relevant to the earth, reconnecting with the whole and with the sacred in every living thing.

I love that Tamera doesn’t push some pie-in-the-sky, romanticized picture of what the world could be.  They take the theoretical out of the equation and get to work.  Ask what needs to be done.  Support local movements all around the world.  Co-create a global alliance of peace workers that wish to defend the sacredness of life itself.

Whether protesting off-shore oil drilling right here in Portugal or traveling halfway across the globe to stand with friends at Standing Rock (to oppose the Dakota Access Pipeline) or in Israel-Palestine (to try to open lines of communication & reconciliation), the Tamera community has officially joined the fight.

The next international gathering of activists and peace workers is set for THIS SATURDAY, August 4^th.  Once again aimed at stopping off-shore drilling, the gathering (close to Lisbon) will combine concert, ritual, aerial art, and solar energy awareness.  Tamera has been alive with activity, and event preparations, this whole week.

Activists have arrived from Colombia, Brazil, Peru, Argentina, Guatemala, Mexico, Costa Rica, Israel-Palestine, Kenya, Cameroon, India, Honduras, and from various indigenous tribes in North America (including Standing Rock’s LaDonna).

Dinner conversations swirling around seed harvesting and water & wildlife protection and remembering the miracle of I AM.  Opening ceremonies in the main hall and at the stone circle at dusk.  Messages of global unification transcending cultures, borders and beliefs.  Prayers by representatives of the north, south, east and west.  Youth choirs, acapella performances, chanting, dancing, meditating, listening to tribal drums as they mimic the heartbeat of mother earth.

Keep this community (and their message of peace) in your hearts this Saturday.  I will as well as I’m heading off to my next adventure this Friday.  Rejuvenated.  Centered.  And full power.

Stay tuned for Tamera: Post Two which will cover learning how to cook in a vegan kitchen (among other things).

xoxo,

tay

tamera, take 1

tamera, take 2

Defend the Sacred brochure

bonus pic from lisbon. is it creepy i took a picture of a stranger having a moment?

xoxo (again)